Online dating coaching vs. outsourcing

”Last week my pal Kate tweeted me this delightful link: I told you it was really gross dating tech guys in Seattle (cc: @askvirginia) http://t.co/cf7h2bYjhY — Kate K. (@kateseventy8) July 11, 2014   For now, let’s ignore Gawker’s weird graphic, and also put the issue of dating tech guys in Seattle on hold. I can guarantee that they’re not all gross—after all, …

NYC’s ‘most popular’ straight gal weighs in on OkCupid

Remember that piece a couple months back about NYC’s most messaged singles? The straight gal from that roster wrote a thoughtful follow-up post on xoJane. Lauren Urasek was forthcoming about the ups and downs of being popular on OkCupid. She, like anyone, winds up going on first dates where she wishes there was a second one but the other party …

Wired’s online dating infographics

Last week Wired came out with a pseudo-article entitled  How to Create the Perfect Online Dating Profile, in 25 Infographics. Today, Amanda Hess came out with a great follow-up article identifying that many of the Wired tips involved breaking out of more traditional gender stereotypes. Amanda’s not wrong, in the sense that Wired’s data does often highlight gender non-conformity. But I …

Another math/data genius who “hacked” online dating

Remember a few months back, when Amy Webb’s TED Talk about how she hacked online dating went viral? Well I sure do; I still get tons of clients from my analysis of her strategy. And now we’ve got this Wired article about a mathematician dude who “hacked” OkCupid over the course of several years. You can’t blame me for analyzing …

The Verge’s OkCupid interview

The Verge is kicking off a series interviewing startup companies called Small Empires, and their most recent interview was with the rather large empire of OkCupid. The interview is fascinating to me (of course), but I think it might also fascinate singles who use OkCupid and its competitor online dating services. There’s a lot to unpack here; I’m coming from …

Singles Warehouse piece

Hey folks, hope you all had a lovely weekend! Grant and I had an overwhelmingly social one—he’s been in crunch mode for months and I’ve been under the weather, but we packed in FOUR separate engagements, and he even managed to mow the lawn and do laundry (while I lazed around and caught up with my DVR). I guess we’re …

Amy Webb’s Ted Talk about hacking online dating

I’ve mentioned Amy Webb before, and her book Data: A Love Story. She recently gave a TED Talk on the same subject, which is pretty darn entertaining. But of course, being an online dating coach with lots of experience and strong opinions, I have to pick apart her approach and warn you away from the aspects I think might harm …

How to take great solo selfies

SELFIES. There, I said it. I hate that word, but I hated “spam” and “blog” too and also get off my lawn. So, let’s embrace the neologism and take SELFIES! There are a few reasons for this post. One is that I have many past, current, and hopefully future clients who could legitimately use these tips. Two is that Mashable …

Humblebrag humor

Humblebrags range from amusing to obnoxious. But I think it can work really well for you if used right. In my most recent Heartographer podcast episode, “Deconstructing the Joke,” Matthew Baldwin and I talked about confidence, and some subtler ways of demonstrating that. He helped deconstruct an interesting notion that I’ve intuitively understood in my years of online dating coaching, …