Hi y’all! Episode 6 of The Heartographer podcast, “Those People are Wrong,” went live on Monday, and it’s all about different online dating sites and what “flavor” they all have. ALL of the info here is a generalization, which as we know isn’t always perfect. But it’s a start! SO MANY people asked for this topic to be tackled, so I will probably transcribe the relevant bits at some point and put it on a members-only page. (Forthcoming!) For now, enjoy! I know the episode title is a little negative, but it’s only because I’m trying to help you break some of the misconceptions and/or bad habits that SO MANY singles have formed in the online dating world. I aim to help!
And hey, check it out: Dear Prudence agrees with me and Kai about addressing the body odor issue! From her recent column:
Q. Stinky Friend: Over the past 6 months I have become good friends with a man from another country whom I met in a yoga class. He is very generous, intelligent, has a great job, and fun. The only problem is that he smells bad—like he doesn’t wear deodorant and re-wears his shirts too many times. He would like to meet more people and date American women. I introduced him to several of my single friends and they all noted his pungent aroma. I think his personal aroma is keeping him from making friends. Should I bring this up with him? I have thought about going shopping with him to a fancy body products store and finding an upscale antiperspirant and telling him to buy it because it is sexy.
A: Forget hinting. If you’re a friend, you will tell him straight. It’s simply the case that different cultures have different standards of hygiene. He’s in America, so he has to conform to ours. Tell him you can’t fix him up until he addresses his body-odor issues. Say he needs to shower daily, use a strong deodorant and antiperspirant, and his shirts need laundering after every wearing. Be direct and matter-of-fact. You will be doing him (and everyone around him!) a great service.
We said (in more words) basically the same thing back in Episode 3, “Worry About Yourself.” Suck it up and have the hard conversation with your stinky friends; you’re ultimately doing them (and everyone they meet) a favor.
So there you have it! Take it from me AND Prudence; tell your friends they smell! 😉